So what are you proposing?

"It's simple. Kill the Batman."

text

n: hey you should read "teacher man" by frank mccourt
h: ya? is it good?
n: i'm bout halfway through it. it's a memoir about being a high school teacher
h: cool. ill check i out. im looking forward to reading yours someday.
n: hell yeah! yours is due before mine though.

Done with fish

Susan Orlean: I guess I'd just like to know how you can detach yourself from something that you've invested so much of your soul in. I mean, didn't you ever miss turtles? The only thing that made your 10-year-old life worth living?
John Laroche: Look, I'll tell you a story, all right? I once fell deeply, you know, profoundly in love with tropical fish. Had 60 fish tanks in my house. I skin dived to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holdacanthus ciliaris, Chaetodon capistratus. You name it. Then one day I say, "f--- fish". I renounce fish. I vow never to set foot in that ocean again. That's how much "f--- fish"...That was 17 years ago. And I have never since stuck so much as a toe in that ocean. And I love the ocean.

Susan Orlean: But why?

John Laroche: Done with fish.

Susan Orlean (VO): If you really loved something. Wouldn't a little bit of it linger? Evidently, Laroche's finishes were downright and absolute. He just moved on. I sometimes wished I could do the same.

Done with fish!

Falling in love with you all over again

I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so I could lose my memory, get transported to some 3rd world country just to get treated, and then somehow meet up again with you so I could fall in love with you in a different language and see if it still feels the same.
-Shihan

Pardon My French

It's only taken me two years, but I've finally got it. The original title (Like Me - A Commentary) was always a working title. It was shortened to Commentary, but it never felt right. I was doing some valuable wikipedia research on Paris and France and French people and things and came across the phrase Pardon My French.

Perfect.

Remember when Costanza said that he tried to get a girl by telling her that he coined that phrase?

Now I'm back in it. I've got the story and the characters and everything in my head. I can't get it out. Thank you.

I'm listening to a free podcast by Hollywood Saloon titled Art of Commentary.

The End of History

I only heard about this guy because I'm cheap. I always take advantage of the free downloads on iTunes, because songs are expensive. And I don't know what I like. So this is how I came across Fionn Regan.

Now I can't get enough. He is the product of one of my favorite album covers.

He also has one of the best YouTube music videos ever made.

Congratulations, FR.

My biggest fear

Boring people.

This can be taken either way. I'm afraid of being stuck in a boring conversation and I'm afraid of boring other people.

I'm reminded of that dude from Almost Famous, who talks about himself as a musician.

I get people off! And I find the one guy who isn't getting off, and I MAKE him get off. Actually, THAT you can print!

p.s. I did enjoy this part from the movie:

I must create a system or be enslaved by another mans;
I will not reason and compare: my business is to create.
-William Blake

All I know is
If you don't figure out the something
you'll just stay ordinary
And it doesn't matter if it's a work of art or a taco or a pair of socks
Just create something new
and there it is
and it's you
out in the world
outside of you
and you can look at it or hear it or read it or feel it
and you know a little bit more about
you
a little bit more than anyone else does

Stole this from a movie. But you'll have to click on this link to find out which one. (It was even a little too chick flickish for me...but I still liked it).

This one goes out to all the teachers who told me I'd never amount to nuthin'

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I was dead broke, man I couldn't picture this
50-inch screen, money green leather sofa
Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur
Phone bill about two G's flat
No need to worry, my accountant handles that
And my whole crew is loungin'
Celebratin' every day, no more public housin'
Thinkin' back on my one-room shack
Now my mom pimps an Ac' with minks on her back
And she loves to show me off, of course
Smiles every time my face is up in The Source
We used to fuss when the landlord dissed us
No heat, wonder why Christmas missed us
Birthdays was the worst days
Now we sip champagne when we thirsty
Uh, damn right I like the life I live
'Cause I went from negative to positive
And it's all good
...and if you don't know, now you know
-Notorious B.I.G. "Juicy"

Things to do before I die

"Plant a tree, write a book, have a son."
-José Martí

I don't have a lot of crazy dreams. Sure, I'm an ambitious guy. I want to accomplish things and inspire people and become great and blah blah blah. But my list of things to do before I die is pretty short. Creating a list like this seems abstract and overwhelming. Should I list measurable things (make a million dollars, jump out of a plane, go to Wrigley Field) or should I have nobler, more generic dreams (be a good father, forgive someone, love unconditionally)? There are realistic, practical dreams (be an enthusiastic teacher, be the next great offensive football mind) and there are irrational, idealistic dreams (change the world, cure cancer, register to vote).

I'm not ready to fully tackle questions like these right now.

So I'll just reveal one thing on my list:

Visit Paris.

White Rappers

I don't speak
I float in the air wrapped in a sheet
I'm not a real person
I'm a ghost trapped in a beat
-Eminem "Bad Meets Evil"

Since 911 we're still livin'
And lovin' life we've been given
Ain't nothing gonna take that away from us
Were lookin' pretty and gritty 'cause in the city we trust
-Beastie Boys "An Open Letter to NYC"

(That's all I got. Did you really expect the list to be longer than this?)

Ain't writing peace? Actually, no.

Thanks to some good peer pressure, I finally watched the Coen brothers' movie, Barton Fink. I enjoyed it very much. I think I'm just a sucker for any movie about writing or with a character who is a writer. It's the reason I watch movies. Whether it's Melvin Udall struggling to finish his 62nd romance novel or Donald and Charlie Kaufman discussing The Industry,
I'm hooked. I even latched on to Joel Barish, who really only wrote in his journal.

Anyway. Here are some one-liners I wrote down while watching the flick. Forgive me if they're not verbatim.

Can you make us laugh? Can you make us cry? We need more heart in motion pictures. We're all expecting great things. What kind of scribbler are you? What do I write about? Good question. That's the point! We all have stories. Theater becomes as phony as a $3 bill. Writers come and go. But we always need Indians. When he can't write, he drinks. It's my work. I get so worked up. In a sense, we're all alone in the world. Life of the mind- no road map. Can be painful. Pain most people don't know about. Ain't writing peace? Actually, no. Writing comes from an inner pain. Shouldn't your first obligation be to your gift? That sonofabitch. Don't get me wrong. He's a fine a writer. A little lift? Good thing they bottle it. Maybe I only had one idea in me. I am a creator! I am a creator! This is my uniform. This is how I serve my country. I tried to show you something beautiful.

Cinco de Miner

Happy Birthday Harold Miner. Dude's 37 years old today. I'm starting to get the feeling that maybe he's not coming back to the NBA. (Though MJ came back to play for the Wizards when he was 38. And Dikembe's still blocking shots at age 41. And George Blanda kicked a few field goals at age 48, for crying out loud)....hmm....maybe he could still come back. I'm going to keep hope alive for a few more years.

Lars and the Real Girl

Maybe it's too soon to talk about this movie. I just finished watching it. It's a ridiculous premise. I had very low expectations. I hadn't heard anything about it. There may have been some buzz from critics, but it seemed a little too quirky for me.

Lars is such a lovable character. I'm a little embarrassed to recommend the movie, but I'm going to anyway. A cynic will laugh. An enlightened viewer will cry. I did both. Very, very good.

My Mistress

Last night I was alone. The wife and kids are out of town, so of course I stayed up way too late. There I was, finally in bed, listening to Coldplay. I started thinking about my mistress.

Yeah, that's right, I said it. My mistress. She has green eyes.

Green Eyes - Coldplay

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand
That green eyes,
yeah the spotlight,
shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you
I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter,
now I've met you
And honey you should know,
that I could never go on without you
Green eyes
Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know
That green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who,
tried to deny you
must be out of their mind
Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter,
since I met you
Honey you should know,
that I could never go on without you

I love you Money. Sorry we can never be together.

Hip Hop Lyrics

One Mic - Nas
All I need is one blunt, one page, and one pen
One prayer - tell God forgive me for one sin
Matter fact maybe more than one

Hip Hop Saved My Life - Lupe Fiasco
He said, I write what I see
Write to make it right, don't like what I be
I like to make it like the sights on TV
Quite the great life so nice and easy
See, now you can still die from that
But it's better than not being alive from straps
Agreed
A Mead notebook
and a Bic that click when its pushed and a whack @** beat

Memories Live - Talib Kweli
In my lifetime, ain't too many things better
Than watching your first son put his sentences together
Yo, it kinda make me think of way back when
I was The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
All them teenage dreams of rapping
Writing rhymes on napkins
Was really visualization
Making this here actually happen

A Day in the Life of Andre Benjamin - Andre 3000
You'd dropped me off by the dungeon
Never came in, but I knew that you were wondering
Now are these n*ggas in this house up to something
Selling crack sack by sacks so they could function?
W-W-Well, yes and no
Yes we were selling it
But no it wasn't blow
Cook it in the basement then move it at a show
Then grab the microphone and everybody yelled HO...

August Rushed

Let me just get this out of the way right now. I hated this movie. But I'll tell you everything I loved about it.
I'm not trying to be funny. Or clever. I promise. I'm just trying to figure out how to articulate how I feel about this movie. I cried in the preview, months ago. I'm soft, I know. But it got a pretty low rating on Rotten Tomatoes (36%), so I was scared to watch it. Tonight we finally did. Yeah, I cried. But there was so much wrong with this movie I don't know where to begin. I felt absolutely NOTHING in the scene where they fall in love. And I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff. I believe EVERYTHING. My suspension of disbelief is probably the strongest muscle in my body. But some of the stuff in this movie...c'mon...

I loved what the movie was trying to do, though. Music is powerful. Love is powerful. And as a great man once said, you gotta have faith. I was inspired. But this is where things get weird. It wasn't the movie that inspired me. It was what the movie was trying, but failed, to do. (Then did it fail?)-

I'm not a musician, but I appreciated the music theme (though I didn't like the music). Not everyone can hear the music. Not everyone is listening. (I'm reminded of Sidney Deane tellin' Billy Hoyle he can't hear Jimmy).

But here's what I took away from this terrible movie that I hated and loved at the same time: Follow your dream. No matter how silly and unbelievable it may seem. I'll take a little bit of inspiration anywhere I can get it. Even from a bad movie.

Dreams...

Man. So here's the dream. Write.

That's it. I just want to write. I hate to fulfill the saying, those who can't do, teach. But I can't help it. If I could write full-time and make enough to support my family, I'd recycle my teaching degree and never look back. I hope that doesn't mean I'm going to be a crappy teacher.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes, "Harlem"

He's Back...

It's been nearly a year. I've deleted some boring school-related posts. And now I'm back. What in the world should I write about? Let me just sum up the past year. And then we'll worry about the rest later. Let's see...

Accepted to the teaching program. Started working at Overstock.com. Left to be a salesman for a couple of months (What a disaster). Returned to Overstock. Read A Writer's Paris. Went to church. Began student teaching and coaching basketball at Viewmont. Left Overstock again. Read Life of Pi. My first state basketball tournament. Returned to Overstock again. Watched Juno (best movie I've seen since Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). Finished student teaching. Read High Fidelity. Bo turned 2. Cy's turning 4 in a couple of days. I'm graduating next month. I'm starting to interview with local school districts. I'm watching The Office marathon in preparation of next week's RETURN!

And that about sums it up.